"Behind every system, behind every rule stands a corpse and laughs. You can't tell me who I should sleep with. I don't work for wages. My life is a revolution... My life is a beautiful life... What you call freedom, I call waste... I will continue to love my own voice. If everyone becomes me, everything will collapse."

Bruno K. Ă–ijer

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Flashbacks

It was a long one. Waking up in the mornings was never my "thing". Open. Eyes are not used to chat with mirrors. Smell of fresh coffee and yesterdays dinner. Leftovers. Trouble with taking-out trash on time. It seemed that everything helped me not to go out. Tingling sensation. I put on some ambient for this early beginning.


Northaunt was always one of the favorites. "The Ominous Silence" is brilliant. I never got tired of it throw all the year. The sun was coming out, slowly... although it looked so warm and seductive, cold sounds of Norway's rain and snow seemed the best choice. You can hear the whispers of water combining with the rusted sound of opening gates. Feel the paths in the mountains and the trees shivering throw the cold wind. Moments of purity, calm and coziness with the morning view in the window. Looking at the city of stone. The amount of birds this morning reminded me of Hitchcock. Seagulls where making their early hunt.
Suddenly, I got lost in my thoughts. So much needs to be dun today. But here, this moment, the one you wait for so long at times was keeping me in exact same place in an exact same position.

Do you always know where are you going and what point do you need to reach? Or where it would be better just to look throw all the variations and stay put?
Somehow everything pases. Day are to fast to catch. They swing by me in seconds. Although nothing changes. It's exactly like in chapter from Alice (throw the looking glass) as she ran with the Queen throw the chess squares in the fields trying to reach the point she wanted to go. But the thing about living in an looking glass world is that, everything is opposite and backwards. So the trick is to stay put, or ran twice as hard. Wait for the results on the mild stone.

"Alice looked round her in great surprise. «Why, I do believe we've been under this tree the whole time! Everything's just as it was!»

«Of course it is,» said the Queen, «what would you have it?»

«Well, in our country,» said Alice, still panting a little, «you'd generally get to somewhere else—if you ran very fast for a long time, as we've been doing.»

«A slow sort of country!» said the Queen. «Now, here, you see, it takes all the running you can do, to keep in the same place. If you want to get somewhere else, you must run at least twice as fast as that!»"

By the time my favorite song started playing. I remember trip to the woods with my dear fried. She smile and we lade in the tall grass at summer and listened the track "And I fade away" on repeat... Summer breeze was bringing a nice chilling feeling. We talked and looked at the sky, soon the sun hided and the stars came out. We haven't noticed the time passing. There was nothing besides us and the tall grass. Moments of pure happiness.

Memorizes came and ran away in a snap shot. Focused. I had stared at the cut out figures in my collage thinking what to this puzzle means. Looking at people who praised god and hoped "HE" will bring them joy and happiness. Using brand new
scalpel to sharpen my pencils I realized how fucked up our generation really is. So lets play the game we supposedly are good at. Your turn, push the black button on the time clock and make your move please.

«I declare it's marked out just like a large chessboard!» Alice said at last. «There ought to be some men moving about somewhere —and so there are!» She added in a tone of delight, and her heart began to beat quick with excitement as she went on. «It's a great huge game of chess that's being played—all over the world—if this Is the world at all, you know. Oh, what fun it is! How I wish I was one of them! I wouldn't mind being a Pawn, if only I might join—though of course I should like to be a Queen, best.»



Good Night,
Dietrich

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