"Behind every system, behind every rule stands a corpse and laughs. You can't tell me who I should sleep with. I don't work for wages. My life is a revolution... My life is a beautiful life... What you call freedom, I call waste... I will continue to love my own voice. If everyone becomes me, everything will collapse."

Bruno K. Ă–ijer

Monday, March 29, 2010

Ballchained Sound Pervert

Waiting. My hands got bored and heavy. I miss the intellect and the mouth of tongues. Being a captive. I held it tight. Hoping time will be generous. How stupid. Definitely not on MY side. Red kings on my ashtray. Foolishness going up - down. I missed him. Hold it. Impossible. Not my cup of tea as they say. Missing is a death row just with better outcomes. Scratch scratch - on the swollen parts.
Jiberish, falling. Coming back together. I hear the radio signal. Hes near. Any second now. Any second. Slowly, breath slowly. Careful. It's like being death and able to hear again. Raising finger throw the keyboard. Near. Near. Near. One. Two. One...... Go!

Check the pulse! What is under the fingernails stays privet. Peeling off nails soon become real. I want to have that bible of his. Put it on my chest and feel how that holly water fills me in from the inside. The sheets under my toes. Hair in the gasp of labyrinths. Smooth vibrations.

The inner voice of memories. Black light bulbs. No faces. We watch them all. We know how to deal the chessboards. Jealousy will suffocate them. Burning the lungs and intestines. Although I wish them well, we both know they will not survive. Envy, Jealousy and Hatred will eat them all alive. And if it will, let them know.

I love my PORN

Just choose the right angle. And the story will come to you. Bribing you to come and serve. Watch it. Listen. The sound will rocket fuel your imagination. Listen to the beauty of raw lo-fi miracle, it will put you off the wooden stick.
It will spread you open. Invade your intimacy. Your coexistence. World will spread it's legs. Someone likes to kneel. I'm all unsafe. It's the revenge. The catharsis. The holy spirit. The last gasp. The burning shoe collection. Lauder. Want it lauder. Floor is sending it vibrations. Going throw the spine. Temperature rising. Wat stains on the wooden polisher. Breathing is harder. Closed eyelids. Again and again. Looped sounds. Know every single second of the track list from the church. I'm your nihilistic Nun. Venum. Sounds giving in. Injection. Forget the rubber band. Fuck........... . .. .. .. .. .. . .. . .. . . . .. OH! Flashes. Pulsations. a perfect twitch. Restrain jacked is necessary. White powder on every inch. Come on in. . . No lubrication needed. Just DON'T touch the sound switch. And get the hell out from here. It's my porn. I'm addicted.

She got up from the floor and put on there album. The rest is a privet penetration. So mind your own busyness in your little world.

I'm masturbating to the perfect and the best porn ever made. PE is the holly bible on our night stand. And yes, he likes to watch!

Good night,

Friday, March 26, 2010

"I am a Queen of all my sins forgotten"

There is something. That something lives under the bed. Watching and cheering it's master hands.
He's there all the time. Watching. Seeking. Watching. Hunting my veins. Eating emotional imperfections. Stinging. Killing. Demanding for surrender. We will not obey! My mistakes are the same. Too much words and yes, as the old song sings "to little bullets". Unfortunately. Overexposing. Over counting. I hate the head. Hate the brain. He's guilty. YOU ARE GUILTY!
My brain is pulsing. Makes the crazy go INSANE. Inhale - exhale. Glass of wine. Better. Bitter and tasty. Burn the witch - the witch is dead.

No more passenger seats. Soon the holy hand of Jesus will show the way. Plain will take off. Will have to admit that sets are taken. Reserved.

Corrupted body parts

Delusional outcomes. Stop. Just need to stop the head from spinning 360 degrees. Just don't open that file. Forget. Forgive. Here we go again and again. And again. Burning cigarette. Marks on the fingers. Overcoming the medical intake. See every fucking part,role I done. How long do you think it can take to go... Back? Front-row.

Although there is no forward. No backward. No ticket deals. Open fire: On your marks. Get set. GO!

Fire shot. I feel the blood rush to the brain. My holy father I'm horny in your Church. My bible on your night stand. Computer screens build up hatred. I can feel how it makes them all insane. So what's now? What this game will be and whom should i talk to? The president. Vise minister. Official consoling office. Or maybe a priest. Sing in to the monastery. Wear a Burka. Hide your sins. Hide the name. Hide the leftovers. Hide the only visible part of your insanity. Take it OFF! Here the twisted knife comes in the wrong direction. Sticking throw emotional rollercoster. Edges and ending with the pure cold steel on the top of my tongue. Closer. Cut deeper. I like that. More. We want MORE! Rails UP to perfection. Hard. Pink. Perfect. Coming. Going. Taking. Defeated. Used. Convinced.

My deeds. Judged by the changing of the shifts. Doe's and don'ts.
Here we go AGAIN! Drained. Tired. Used and recycled. Past lines knocking on the doors. Ignore it. It's a test. A challenge.
We faceless at moments, but willing. To take the risk. Flip the casino chip with the silver-lining and see where it will take us. All in all, the end will be the same for all of us. There is no now, no then. It's in or out. Believe in the church and it will pay you back. With all it's horny heart between her legs.

Forgive me father as I have sinned!

Good Night,

Friday, March 19, 2010

:: Dedication ::

Waiting. Seconds are passing my fingers. Decisions to come and make. Used up and trashed. Overcoming the new wanted experience. It never happened. I never did. Stopped. Thinking is it worth it? I guess not. So I didn't. Decided not to. no no. I have a free blood stream. Missing one and only. I want so bad and... Make-up removal comes handy.

They where calling up

and go

They had put in their best, oh. If only they knew. That it's better to watch they're back. Cause there is a knife and a nitroglycerin stash. Let it come up as a surprise. Wanted. Stopper. To much to revile is never good. It's party time after all. So lets have some FUN!

Streets where packed with embryonic idiots. High heels and cheep cheep skirts. They felt a presence of a witch. I loved the scared look in the eyes. They wanted to touch. Never dared. Breaking hands. Fear. This what happens when you deal with a wrong "cookie". Suckers!

Day changed in to night. Curtains moved. City screamed as a tortured animal torn in to peaces. I was willing, wishing and missing... It hit like a thunderstorm. Couldn't move. Pressure.

And now, all polished up. Ready. Brand new model. Insides are burning with knowledge. Knowing what it brings and has. It's in the water. In my hardly smoking lungs. One the tip of the tongue. He's a discovery. A mystical creation. A wind swirl with all possible rules and unexpected normality. Smooth...tender and willing! I will build a 10 000 Chinese walls. No transposing. No pasaran! Instincts for survival and protection. Have left the shovel to rest. Shoulders...toes. War is not over yet. It never will. But for a second, my army can take a deep and resting breath of fresh air.

Good Night!

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Slut house of individuals

Slut house started at the reception. Thous stupid bitches feel the ITCH. Wishing for the saver to came. And take the nihilistic church to the right temple. Save the soul my precious one. Cum obsesed openings.
Nihilistic deliusions. Terms. Choises. My head spins. Corridors. Endless halls and staring eyes. They all talk with mouth shut. Ending. Being. Begging. Training. Ending.

We walked in slowly with bold mooves.
All the rooms are exactly the same: Points, bad art, cheers, fat women. Telephones. Self-indulging "know-it-all' men. Perfect. Free doses - stand in line! No more "glam", no more clean floors. No more cutesy-shitty stuff. Row. As row as it can possibly be. Snap-Clam-Hole. Gun powder. 3-4-5-6- Come ON!

So you like to watch
Wanna play?

Sadomasochism is the explenation. A freedom to kill. Punish! Punishment to evil one. - Off with his head! said The Red Queen.

You have everything they need. Just DO IT!

We wached the local TV. Show was called - one man 5 cunts. Interactive and highly inteligent. Idiotic mediocrity.

Hysterical. Talk and talk. Constant jap-jap. Highly hormonaly chaleged voices. Squealing. Little piggies wiggling theyr tales.

- Me, me, me, me, ME...!

And HE watches. Waiting. A smile of a predator. Squeal for me Bitch. Fat, fat, fat little tail. His eyes had light-up. And UP he goes... Slow voice. Targeting. Haunting. Oh, the taste of pure desperation. Piggies are in line. Squealing goddesses where ready for everything. He loved the power in his... yes. He did.

The other one walked in confused. With a black siut. Bolding. Gray heaired. Bodie language showed that he's bored and dosed. Tired. Interesting, what does he takes? Litium? Epilim Chrono? Maybe a bit of fluoxetine?

Midle life crises and wrong shoes. Small room again. Window viev. Fake smile. Questions. Answers. Calm voice. And ofcoure that look he gave. Reassurance. There is more answers. No more questions left. I was saved!

He was my drug dealer. My crucifixion. My savior. My soulmate. My friend. Brain blocker. No need to think anymore. THIS will help us all. And we kneel in front of the desk with small gap in the glass. waiting for the salvation to COME!

Sit on my lap

Frozen babies in starbucks. Cute on overwhelming sweetness of the highly fashionable coffee. Love corporations, they make out life easier. Is it her? She's confusing me. No no. Don't give it to me. No. She - had a stair of defeated animal. Horror in the eyes and ignorance of thing soon to come. Such a shame. Would look lovely in taxidermic collection. Uncontrollable passion. Lust!

Note: Need to buy a freezer!

Forgive me Father, as I have sinned.

I'm going to the Lordie - Glory hallelujah!

Good night,


Saturday, March 13, 2010

Perfect Dildo

Touching the face. Gaps between the fingers. Legs spread open. Fallen ashes in the corners. I know that look. That look people give you when it's not enough. When you are IT - and they need to have IT. THING. That thing.

Best Before: read on the label. Fluid intake, outburst. How would it feel like, if suddenly your inner mind would vomit? Witch color would the fluid be. Will it be tasty, sticky, with a hint of peoty?
Talk about mantras, chacras, spiritual bullshit. Whole damn goverment! They'r god was not putted on the wooden stick. They pray to the falus. We pray to the corps. We love that corps. We have him everywher. In kitchen, dining room, closet, bathroom. Bed room, kids room. Kiddies LOVe to play. Favorite toy. Pick of the week. Bestseller of all the christmases. Hes out privet and all used Dildo. A PERFECT vibrator. A Jonny Rabit with nails, and smooth grey-blue skin. 5 different speeds. Aply with a lubricant. Pick your taste.
He is your favorite trash-whore. Your pure lover. Your inner self. Your wishes. Ambitions. A wife, son, your precious daddies girl.
The thing YOU will NEVER BE! He is a sing of suffering perfection.

So USE him deep... slow. Gentle and the as rough as you possibly can.

Hallelujah! Oh Lord!

Good Night to you,
The pure pervert in religion!

Saturday, March 6, 2010


Irrational. Peace to peace putted shapes. We are the victims of terminal devises, diseased. There will be no saviors, no churches, no artifact to put in to museum shelf's. No love affairs. No chess boards.

I can see the tiny swoop to the hole. There is a rabbit running in a watch fab. 5 more minutes, 10 more minutes, half of hour. Time. How many times "TIME" had ruined and rotted my brain. Million different variations and only one person who mite be able to deal with it.

Founding the peaces. Following. Counting. Paying the bills. Card, dices, chess pleases, stones, runes, cards, tarots, blades, anything else in store?

Tired. Fucking tired being wired to the same thing every moment of this existence. Nothing changes, nothing heals, blockages in the brain stream. Head phone tell me: - Torture.


Nobody ever told who is in charge. Show me WHO HE IS? "Search and destroy" - is this the real christian philosophy?

What is real and false. How are we unscrewing the .... bottles? Prescription. Immune system, she, he. IT? THEY! fucking egoistic cunt-run! This IS the earth with no remorse. No one is allowed to speak. Welcome kids, to the bred new Orwellian era. To the masters of the age. We are free and willing. Get us under your skin. Here, now and FOREVER. Hallelujah motherfuckers!

No end. No beginning. No mental health, no quotations. No boundary's, no philosophy, no acupuncture, no ideals, no intellect. Brain is just a pattern for the fulls. Dante is hanged with the skinny guy on the cross. We wait and APPLAUD the leader.
The ONE under the mask is in the room, chair is plugged. Head shaved. Electricity = Ready.

- NEXT!#

The voice sad in intimidating way. Could you please just FUCKING MOVE? faster, faster. next, next, next, next, next, next!..!..!

What is it today about prays and lord? landlords. Jesus - who? Jesus WHAT? leave this. Pick up you trash! Ready. One-two GO! We are here, on the knees. Rule, be ruled, obey - be androgynous. GOD! no religion, no order, ideals! watch ME! look at ME. Have ME!

Soon. Ending, beginning, intolerance. I know WHO YOU ARE!

Sorry father, as I have SINNED!

Good Night,

Monday, March 1, 2010

Redressing in an airport

It just did. one, five, tree, six, two, four. The bell echoed in the ringing ear. What was what.
Plot lines. Story books. Top fives. Collections. Apartments. Wind, rain, snow. Drivers, tickets. Stop. Metro, Train stops. Bus stops. Plains. Check-in. Check-out. Have a nice flight. Thank you for using "....." service.

Single sampled tiny cream, sugar. water. Metal detectors. Cabs. Bills. Electricity. Poses. Walk out, walk in. Smiles. 10000 different faces chatting. Running. Departure, arrival. Being late, being out. in. on off. positions. hand luggage. Welcome to "..." current time... Temperature. Captain - cabin crew. We wish you a nice stay in "...".

Silence. Fast walking motion. Toilet door. Big cabins- good. Look right -left. Empty. Lock the door. Thou down all the staff. Open the suitcase. Redressing in toilets. Romantic isn't it? Pull on the stockings. T-shirt. Pants. Fix the lipstick. Re-brush long knotted hair. I'm ready for the next round! Flash-backs. Moment flash in the back of my head. Smiling. Brown-eyes looking back. Warm. Touched the lower lip again. Pose at the door. I don't want to go out and meet the "real" world. But, there is a ride to catch, a plain, and a booked taxi. Off I go. But oh, wait. Five more minutes. Deep breath in. And I .... go.

Red nail polishers. Paper tissue. Make-up removals. Foot steps. Smiles. What time is it?
Again and again it spin-circles. Ceilings. Different metal, classical, neo-classical, industrial buildings. Chess games. Alice, Snow white. Cats. Street, coffee cups. Ashtrays. Cigarettes. Pillows. Bed. Oh, five more minutes. Light -out!

Good Night,