I am in a box. A box one asked me not to leave or move. Non verbally. Then. Carpet underneath my knees burning bright. Coloured, red. Blue grey hair swirls that scattered them-self over the body and my hands. Today, this day, only bruises are left. Alive.
When through goes back, it's warm. Soft. With underwater sounds and vibrations. Nothing looks the same now. Nothing. Skin is different. Can feel fingertips on my ears. DNA codes. I observed you through pauses and pitch shifts. And so it goes. Fire and Water.
I walk around the house like an artefacts. Not moving a single item, cleaning around. Collecting dust on my feet. To keep the moment. The vague but powerful memories. To keep you, present. From far Cerberus. Distance. Hands moving rapidly on the fabrics, skin, furniture. Hands freezing.
Just One Breath
Dry moth. Sky dark. Closed blinds. Bright sky. You remind me of myself. Sometimes I wish my memory would not destroy most potent moments. As if forbidding me to enjoy. Self. Perhaps it's Jungian.
And then - the universe appears. Scattered. Uncomprehending. Unapproachable. Literal. Impossible. Giving. Possessive. All consuming. The universe has no bias. No degree of self nihilistic tendencies. No time. No morals. No boundaries. No light. No darkness. Pure nothing that creates eternal sum of everything.
Then there is a first step. Uncertain. Undertaking. Self controlled. Centred. Exhausting. Impulsive. Searching. Ego focused. Narcissistic. Animalistic. Procreativitly enthusiastic. Hungry. Loving yet destructive. Pure ID.
Then we bright the last step. Forgiving. Eye opening. Obliterating. Final and concluding. Earth wrecking. Defeating. Violently exhausting. E N D.
And then JUST RUN! Fall and pick self up again. Escape and move on. Continuum. Venomous. Food of the gods. Unbearable undetectable. Comprehensible. All consuming. Expanding and explosive. Fear!!!!!! ...and then there is Y O U and M E …
Good Night and God Bless,
Queen of Disorder,