Time is ticking and ticking and ticking ....

Condido Human by GO - "In-Konflikt"is playing and it seems that everything that goes around is sintetick. There is no questions left here. Work is work, busyness is busyness and everything else is just the ticking on the wall. The small arrows are moving systematically. The hide and seek game is on from the first tick of that arrow.

This blog was meant to be something between my thoughts on my work and the work it self. I think some sort of stamen is missing here. Oh shit! How do I hate all this paper writings and explanations. Some people do this blogging as a diary. Maybe that's the way. Who knows. I'm spinings angan and again ant the fucking arrow is still here, still working. The big brothere have risen!

The introduction:

Age: 23
Sex: Female
Eyes: Blue
Hair: To long to be true
Body: None
Looking for: Not looking back
Political view: BURN ( anti new world order)
Religious view: Nihilist since 8

And everything else is just as it is a random bullshit. Let's pretend that they who will read will put me in more precise boxes with labels. Who is she, what is her interest and from where did she came from. All in all. It's Edinburgh. My home town Vilnius is in the kingdom far far far away.
And I'm here for my post-grad MFA of Painting at the E.C.A.
FBI SCI CIA ACAB KGB STT and so on and so on....

I'm working on my research proposal paper witch in year or so will become desertion.
Here was what i wrote to people who are getting in involved:

" I’m working on a paper witch is a Research proposal and basically the paper is about PE.
Research proposal:
" Violence and Women role in Power Electronics "

My biggest Ambition is to open this file witch in my opinion is really closed to public. I have no interest in making the music it self popular in any way. It’s more a small revolution and a spit on academic society. I’m an `Post grad MFA student of PAINTING in Edinburgh Collage of Art. I have a strong feeling that academic
society is pushed far from real issues in the world and consider everything as an conspiracy theory. They prefer everything to clean and to sterile . So my mission is to turn their sterile world in to everyday PE. It's a cultural terrorism. As I'm fed up with all that tiny cute shit!
If you would like to help me in a way, I would be really grateful. Basically I would like to ask you some questions and to hear your opinion on the topics mentioned above.

Thank you for your time,


The people who received the letter are my favorite PE artists round the globe. The group is building up. Soon it will be time to make a second step. This is the main thing now. Actually if I would leave sarcasm for a moment I can tell that I'm really happy about the project and if someone for some reason will tell me NO well I will just keep on working cause I really don't care. Stop. PE was and is a big part of my life. Well, this sounds so lame. But it is a huge part. The movies, books, art work, sounds, gigs, people everything is related. Full-Stop.

Neil ( the smart man who is responsible for academic thing we read and learn) told me to forget about painting. Well. It was hard, but I think I will do. I just wont go near the brush and pallet. No no no! I will not. But nobody told me I cant do collages, so I did, yes did. You know, I always do what people tell me to do. Yes yes yes! A week before we went to cove park. Yeah, that long and lovely place. So positive it sometimes make you sick. And it did...

Hm.. diary stile, yes please. So today:

Dear Princes and King and the holy spirit,
(they are the people, you know THE people)

My day stared kinda early at 8 something. I sayed
in bed and read a book. " The Bell Jar" by Sylvia Plath.
A wonderful book so far. Spent all morning with Miss Plath. Drinking coffee and smoking so much that my lungs started to hurt. It's a pity I haven't read it 5 years ago. But maybe it's the way it should be. Nice start.

Later on, after all the talk with the Queen I put my face on and went for a hunt. It was a particularly nice hurt. A hunt for flesh with discovery. A flesh with knowledge. A thinking flesh. I was as exited as a 6 year old first time driving into a hunted house at an amusement-park. Oh the rising of the pulse, the adrenalin, the terror. And then, after some time I spotted a target. It was an old woody and weirdly smelling thing. A place. And there, on the old shelf, there in the middle of all that chaos and different letters and pictures I had finely found them. Almost side by side. My victims, targets, lovers. Here are they:

They are wonderful. If you open them you can fell how blood is boiling and if you close them they keep silent. Silence is so delicate, you know they are always there with you and they will never betray you. Cause you are THE master as well as they are. They talk in different ways trying to touch your insides. Perfect. Just perfect. Delicate, painful, sweet and arrogant at moments... and honest at all times.

Fascinated I went slowly throw the shadows of the perfection on the paths and corners. Then reached a big building. Went in to the gate. Silence was paling out side. Little Nicole 12 was singing to me. And so, I entered. A place of magic and unknown. The ECA. The perfection! And here I'm till now. Walking throw the path of my memory

With all the love in the world,

So here we go, the diary part is over. Nothing left to hide.


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